US Claims Open Season on Drunk Drivers
ConnecticutWith the rising population of drunk drivers in the area, Connecticut officials have declared hunting season as open to the general public. Locals have flocked to their nearest WalMart to stock up on ammunition. 'It's so exciting!! Deer are fun to hunt but they're so big and predictable. There's no rush like trying to pick off a drunnk legislator constantly weaving as he drives!' says Peter J. of New Haven.
Some humanitarian groups have claimed that the decision to open hunting season is 'cruel and unusual', however animal rights activists have flocked to the state to support the decision, citing most animal and child abusers tend to be drunk drivers, and rightfully they fully support the drunk hunting cause.
"It's good to be part of something so great. I proud to be American, even as one of Japanese decent!" Steve the Tranny says. He continues, "to combine the sport of hunting with the knowledge that I am making pubric road safe is great honor!"
File Story
Left to Right: Fire Marshal Bill, Billy-Joe Bob, Steve the Tranny, standing over a 130lb kill.
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