DC is cruel like wearing metal pants in magnet factory

After spending 4 or 5 hours on the dyno getting nowhere....
After installing a new alternator in tick infested weeds....
We get to DC.

After finding out the alternator is dead....
After finding out no one stocks a replacement alternator....
After finding out a junkyard doesn't have an alternator they listed on the shelf.....

After being told to go to another junkyard that has the alternator....

After being told said junkyard is closed....

After going to said junkyard anyways and getting the alternator....
It's the wrong fucking alternator.

After filing out the wrong size alternator mount hole from 8mm to 10mm....

After banging out the wrong size alternator mount bushing from the crappy NAPA unit....
After spacing out the tensioner to clear the wrong (presumably 89-90 240sx alternator)....

After firing up the car and finding out the alternator works....
After stealing a practice start so we can test the car.....
It's still blowing out spark.

Looked over the wire harness.

Redid the power supply to the coils.

Checked voltages everywhere.
Puked in my Cheerios.
Cleaned up, and here we are writing shit down while watching Blades of Glory. Fuck my life. Fuck it hard. The 240 better boost some poundage into the competition for those uphill effingtastic straightaways. FML!!!! It took like an hour in the shower to powerwash all the grease off. And now I'm hungry. At least my Android phone lets me post how much of a waste of space we're being down in DC. Someone wish us luck, boost, and where the fuck is my drink?

Pics tomorrow if I'm not dead.